Wish I'd had the video camera

Okay, I know that one major rule of parenting is that we should never laugh at our kids. I mean, unless they want us to (I will publish some of our endless knock-knock jokes at another time). But like when they fall down. Like when boy #2 spins himself round and round and round and round, and momma is reading to boy #1, and also thinking, "I should tell him to stop doing that", but before the words come out, said spinning boy falls into the bookshelf. Then spinning boy gets up, but is still so dizzy he falls yet again. This time he falls backwards. By now he is screaming because he hit his head. But also because he is so dizzy and is thinking, What the heck? What is this odd feeling that is making me fall down?

My kids love AFV. America's Funniest Videos. (You know, people making poor judgements, falling down, hitting their crotches on things). And if I'd gotten it on video, I'd send it in. No, I know, you shouldn't laugh at your kids. I picked up spinning boy and held him till he settled down. Kissed him where it hurt. But I laughed. I did. It was funny.

Naps

My friend Annie and I have been having variations of this conversation for the past three years:

Momma: Baby boy will only nap in his swing!

Annie: Baby girl will only nap when she's strapped to my chest!

M: Baby boy napped in his crib for an hour this morning!

A: Baby girl napped in her crib for only 30 minutes this morning, but she took a two hour nap after lunch!

M: Lately any little noise wakes baby boy.

A: Arrgh, the garbage trucks woke baby girl!

A: Don't you just love nap time?

M: It's the best time of the day!

M: Baby boy didn't nap today. But he seemed fine all afternoon. 

A: Do you think he's ready to give up his nap?

M: Maybe, yeah. 

Wait, what did you say? Baby boy give up his nap? He is 3 now, but momma is not ready for him to stop napping. Nap time is momma time. Could we give up the thing we've worked so hard at for the past three years? Just give it up, just like that? I do look forward to the time when we can go somewhere as a family between the hours of 1 p.m and 3 p.m. Honestly, we are pretty much slaves to the nap. But for now, as long as he will nap, baby boy keeps napping. 

Time Warp

Why is day light savings time so hard on parents? Before I had children, I used to change my clock, go to bed a little earlier or sleep a little later, and be done with it. Sometimes it was even fun. Like in college when the bars would stay open an hour later. 

These days, I feel the effects of "falling back" and "springing ahead" for days, and so do my kids. In the fall we supposedly gain an hour.  But the kids still get up at the same time, only now it's an hour earlier, resulting in what I have renamed The Longest Day Ever.  This Sunday we lost an hour. Any parent can sense the unfairness of this. Who among us can afford to lose one hour of sleep? Of course we all remember taunting our parents with the questions: "What time is it really?" "Why do I have to go to bed when it's still light out?" "Why can't I have lunch right now? It's only 10 am? What does that mean?" 

This morning we all overslept.  I woke my oldest boy, who at age 7 can get himself ready fast.  My three year old lay on the floor and sobbed. Then screamed for waffles. He feels the effects of the daylight savings hangover. I threw on clothes, and my glasses and did the best I could with my hair. Much as I wished to just drop him off and ride away, I accompanied my first-grader into the main office of his school for his tardy slip.  Looking and feeling as though I'd spent the night out partying, or had just arrived home from LA on the Red Eye. (As though momma were a rock star...) 

We ran into the school guidance counselor on the way in. He took one look at the three of us, sons and mother with red-rimmed eyes and hair askew, and said kindly "this time change is a real drag isn't it?"